Balik... balik... balik

Today, I'm going back to my hometown... High Castle. Tak sabar sangat nak balik. Last balik masa CNY aritu. Cuti panjang masa Maulidur Rasul + Taipussam my mom went to Langkawi with my sister... Holiday... And I left alone in KL... baking. Hehehe... Its ok... My long 'holiday' is coming soon in 2 weeks time. Really can't wait. I feel nervous sangat. Nervous + Excited... lebih berdebar dari nak ambil SPM or result SPM or waiting to present my final thesis. Its totally different.

So, today I'm going back to High Castle for a small kenduri before I proceed with my March plan. Hopefully semuanya selamat dan berlangsung sempurna.

By the way, I have something to tell uols semua. Tak ada niat to be snobbish, berlagak or what so ever.. i just want to share the happy moment in my life. Yesterday, I went for a Site Meeting as usual... the project which supposed to complete end of this month. The contractor already apply for EOT. Asking for extra 17 days... But I think I will just give 5 days extra. So, they have to do some magic so that the project can finished by end of this month. Finger cross. 

While waiting for the whole team, I went to breakfast at the cafe beside our site. I met one of my specialist. We discuss about the project, deadline, work schedule... bla bla bla its like pre-meeting. He is the civil engineer who supply for oil interceptor as well. Suddenly, he told me... 

"Miss Sha, I'm happy to be apart of the team. Because you are so energetic and I was really surprise that I met a woman architect, still young but have a wide knowledge. I'm amazed with the way you handle the whole team... gather everyone. It's been a long time I didn't met a women architect like you." 

I was so touched when he said that. I was surprise to receive such a beautiful compliment. He  thought that I have part 3. Definitely I don't have. Still need a lot of time to make my self prepared before I sit for the scary exam. He even thought I run the business by myself. When I told him... I'm just the project architect and I'm working for "bla bla bla" company. He said... 

"Honestly, you are more than ready to sit for exam. You should find a company who can offer you partnership"

Wow.... I was really surprised. I was dreaming for such offer since last year. And that is one of the reason I moved to small company who can offer me such platform in a few years. 

Thank you very much for all the trust. Even you are not my boss, but I know you are such a good boss with beautiful knowledge. Thanks again sir. I'm happy to work with you also.

It really made my day and I finally found back my long lost super energy. So now... I'm in love with my job again. ^_smile_^

p/s: I'm coming home... coming home...

XOXO,

Paper Cut Dolls

I still remember when I was young I used to collect this "Paper Cut Dolls" with my sister. And bila balik dari sekolah, jumpa kawan-kawan sepermainan... all the girls will bring along thier "Paper Cut Dolls".  Main sama-sama. Sangat simple main benda ni and it's sooo cheap. Kalau rosak pun tak apa... boleh beli lagi... but if yang rosak tu is baju favorite... memang akan ada air mata yang menangis tak puas hati.Satu kertas about A4 size berharga 30sen kalau tak silap. Then in each paper ada satu doll dan pelbagai baju, seluar, boots and some accessories. Lebih kurang 3 persalinan. And the most wanted is dolls yang ada wedding dress. 

Last time I kept my dolls collection in a VanHouten tin box. Full dalam tu sampai susah nak tutup. My sister pula ada 2 box. Kadang-kadang bila dah boring... we used to tukar-tukar the dressing with each other. Sistem barter. One of the reason we love this doll is sebab dia murah, everyone can have it and boleh tukar-tukar baju, boleh pinjam baju kawan. Maklumla... dulu-dulu nak dapat barbie is like something impossible. If Iasked for a doll definitely dapat doll yang bila berdiri mata terbuka, bila baring dia tidur... Hehehe... Funny but I have a few of them before. Keep changing once yang lama getting old.

Today, I went to a supermarket beli a few things and I found this as a gift of purchasing Libresse. Its funny to look at them. Mengimbau kenangan silam. So for those yang rasa nak have it back can follow me... belilah promo pack and get this "Paper Cut Dolls" You even get the tin case. It's cool.... 

 The whole set

Dress no. 1

 Dress no. 2

 Keep it safe...

... in this tin case ;)

Eternal Love

Why did u keep your burden inside you

when you have Allah to tell it to?

Why did u fear everyone might hate you

when you have Him who understands you?

Why did you fill your heart with pain and anguish

when you have Him to fill it with eternal bliss?

Why did you choose to settle in turbulence

when there's His pure love that speaks of peace?

Open your heart, Let Allah wash away the hurt,

Embrace the greatest love.. He, alone could give you.

Pray to Allah for He listens to all prayers,

Believe in Him alone and not the deceiving others,

do what He says for He is your mentor,

Love him truly and not the impostor.

When you are in battle unarmed,

let His love be your sword,

When you feel cold, let His love warm you,

When you stumble and fall,

let His love catch you.

When you have no food to eat,

let His love fill your tummy,

When you can no longer breathh,

let His love be your air,

When you have no more to drink,

let His love be your water.

When you are lost in the rain,

let Allah's love be your shade,

When you are lost in the dark,

let His love be your light,

When you can no longer see,

let His love be your sight.

When youare bruises in a fight,

let's Allah's love stop your bleedings,

When you are wronged in an argument,

let His love unleash what's true.

When no one understands you,

let Allah's love be searched,

When no one listens to you,

let His love be heard,

When no one believes in you,
let His love be seen,

When no one trusts you,
let His love be serene.

When you believe nobody loves you,

let Allah's love be your confidence,

When you doubt nobody protects you,

let His love be your defense,

When you feel nobody cares for you,

let His love heed.

When someone foold you,

let Allah's love make you wiser,

When someone belittles you,

let His love make you greater,

When someone abandons you,

let His love show you what to do.

When you are weak,

let Allah's love be your strenght,

When you can no longer smile,

let his love be sent,

When you are lost,
let his love be your way,

When you can no longer speak,

let His love tell you what to say.

When you are afraid,

let Allah's love be your protection,

When you are confused,

let His love be your liberation,

When you are hurting,

let His love be your therapy.

When you feel like giving up,

let Allah's love push you,

When you feel tired and fed up,

let His love's purpose pursue,

When you reach the pinnacles of your journey,

The angles of heavens will welcome you finally.

So go on, walk on the road leading to His heavens' grandeur,

Don't go a day without His love, you will never falter,

Don't let the devil deceive your heart, Allah shall conquer it forever.

Hold on and believe in Allah's love, That's the best you can have,

Please never weep again, And in your heart... let His love remain.

Allahu Akbar

Demam

After chinese new year... kerja-kerja office hebat sekali.. sehingga tiada masa. I even work on Taipussam. Due to deadlines... project completion date... bla bla bla... terlalu banyak sehingga rasa tak tertanggung. Boss pula keep pushing me to complete the job as much as I can before my long leave. Dah tak lama dah... about 3 weeks to go. Alhamdulillah. tak sabar sangat.

Last ni is the climax. I promised my sister to help her on preparing defect list for her new house. I even promised her to sent the file last nite. Tapi badan terlalu lemah. Selesai maghrib... saya rasa badan seram sejuk. Tekak terasa perit. Kepala terasa berat. Hidung.. terlalu penuh dan menyukarkan saya untuk bernafas. Perut terasa lapar tapi tiada daya langsung nak mengunyah. End-up  saya minum sekotak susu, makan penadol 2 biji... ubat selesema dan ubat pening kepala... langsung tidur. I switch off the fan and light as well.... covered my self with my favourite comforter. I went to sleep at 8pm.

Around 8.20pm saya dengar azan Isyak... tapi tak mampu nak bangun. Hati tak tenteram sangat tapi tak ada daya langsung. I slept until 3am. Tepat jam 3 pagi... saya terbangun. Ada missed call from my sister and a few messages. Lantak lah... I don't care. Segera saya bangun dan selesaikan Isyak. Kemudian I went back to bed. Tidur dalam senyum. Badan pun dah rasa ok.

Early morning.. actually I was planned to go to clinic. But in my mind... keep thinking about the project yang perlu saya hantar ke client by today. So, saya batalkan niat ke klinik. Somehow... I felt so cold right now. Kepala rasa berat... mata rasa panas.... I'm not in the mood!!!

XOXO,

Baking with Love

Since last week, I've been busy menyiapkan tempahan Macaron, Pavlova dan Cookies. Last call order sebelum I rest for a while. Baru berbisnes dah nak berehat? Its  just temporary. Bukan permanent. InsyaAllah by end of March, tempahan dibuka semula. Here is some of my last tempahan before melabuhkan tirai sementara.

Goodies Bag Cookies for 'my kenduri' next week.

Goodies Macaron order by my roommates masa foundation year 

Yang in untuk hantaran also ordered by my lovely roommates... LULU.

(nanti saya ceritakan sikit about Lulu k... in next post insyaALLAH.)

Menyiapkan semua tempahan ni la yang membuatkan saya tak menang tangan. Maklumla... tak ada assistant. Semua kene buat sendiri. How I wish there's someone who can help me. Apa-apa pun... I wanna say a million thanks to those yang order, menjadi tester, yang memberikan kata-kata semangat, pujian dan jugak yang condemn me (ada ke?) mana la tau kan... tak perasan ke... Thanks a lot. Sayang sangat-sangat korang semua. Jazakallahu khayran.  Maka dengan ini... my little oven Ketuhar Shaaz akan melabuhkan tirai buat sementara waktu. Sementara je tau. Nanti order lagi eh. Hehehe... 

Good night everyone... Have a sweet dreamsssss *wink

XOXO,

Kacang Merah vs Cat's Paws

Cendol memang best. Begitu sedap dimakan especially time petang. Sambil makan pisang goreng cicah sambal kicap. Kat KL ni its like a miracle kalau jumpa acik jual pisang goreng dengan sambal kicap. Masa kecil-kecil dulu.. I'm not really into cendol cendol semua ni. Rasa dia ok tapi rasa tak sampai hati nak makan. Sebab bila cedok-cedok nanti jumpa kacang merah. And time tu saya panggil kacang merah ni... tapak tangan kucing. It's so similar sampai rasa tak sampai hati nak makan.

I even asked my dad at that time... "Abah... pakcik cendol tu korek tangan kucing ke nak buat cendol ni".. pulak tu my dad saja nak dengki.. dia jawab.... "Haah la... kan sama tu..." Terus saya rasa tak lalu.. Kesian sangat. How can I eat tangan kucing when they are super duper cute. When you look into thier eyes.. its sooo... oooooowwww......

But sekarang tidak lagi. Sebab it is definitely bukan tangan kucing. Its kacang merah la.. Ish... Tak baik dengki-dengki tau. Tapi kan... cuba uols tengok... similar kan??? Bezanya saiz je... Kacang merah besar sikit.

Kalaulah cat's paws ni boleh dimakan... does it taste the same like kacang merah? Hehehe...

Btw, atas sebab ini jugaklah saya kurang berminat membela kucing yang paws and hidung colour coklat. I prefer yang colour pink. Sebab nak avoid rasa makan tangan kucing tiap kali kunyah kacang merah. Lalala... enjoy your holiday!!!!

XOXO,

Saya di Dera

Pilu rasa hati... Tiap saat saya berdebar. Degupan jantung sangat kuat... Tiap kali nama saya dipanggil... saya rasa bagai jantung akan gugur. Seperti terputus nyawa... Masa bagaikan terlalu cepat sehingga saya rasa tak sempat nak bernafas.

Setiap malam saya gelisah. Tidur dalam ketakutan dan kerisauan. Tiap kali jarum saat berjalan... saya dengar dengan jelas sehingga rasa tertekan. Bila saya pejam mata... bayangan itu semakin jelas sehingga memaksa saya membuka mata dalam gelap. Tertekan sekali. Setiap pagi... bila bangun dari tidur saya rasa takut sangat.

Saya tak tahu nak mengadu pada siapa. Tak mampu untuk saya ceritakan dari mula. Terlalu berdebar. Sesungguhnya.. saya rasa di dera. Didera oleh deadlines yang berderet tanpa secebis ihsan. Ececece... macam ye ye je kene dera kan? 

Agak-agak curious tak baca awal-awal tadi? Hehehe... Well well well... Saya tak tipu pun... ini kisah benar... saya di dera oleh tanggungjawab sebagaimana tuntutan kerjaya saya. Hati runsing... projek-projek yang saya tengah handle memerlukan perhatian penuh dari saya... termasuk projek-projek tempelan yang turut memanggil mesra. Mesralah sangattttt... sampai headache setiap petang.

I only have 27 days left. Too many things to do sampai saya rasa nak ke toilet pun tak sempat. Nak tidur pun saya rasa seperti banyak masa saya yang akan berlalu begitu sahaja. Ikutkan hati nak je stay up straight 3 days. Tapi badan ni bukan muda lagi. Kalau zaman study tu.. setakat 3 hari straight tak tidur its not a big deal pun. Malah menjadi adat resam bagi semua student architecture.

But not at the age of 26 yang tak lama lagi akan jadi 27 ni. Tak larat dah. But seriously, setiap hari bila masuk office I felt like ada orang kejar saya dari belakang... tak cukup masa yang ada kat office. Tak apa... it's apart of test from Him. 

Hopefully semua akan berjalan lancar. I can't stop smilinggggggg... ^__^

p/s: ada rasa macam baca essey masa zaman sekolah tak? yang ending dia.... saya sebatang pen. hehehehe